Love really is the way. Though, it can be challenging to learn in day to day life. You are not perfect and no one else is either. The important thing is to truly do your best to apply love daily as situations, circumstances, and conversations arise. Be completely honest with yourself and ask yourself two questions: 1. “Am I truly doing my best?” and 2. “Am I being the person I want to be daily?”
Now, don’t go and take out your frustrations physically and/or verbally on people you love. Instead take it all to God and deal with it there. If you need to process through something, then go to someone you trust, that God put in your life, to help you through. It is truly okay to to get help. Don’t let your pride get in the way of that. God didn’t intend for you to hurt those you live with and those that you love. Yes, negative words and actions can hurt and is painful. Though for some reason, we feel like in order to be heard we should use that negative tone and then retaliate with the intention to get the them to understand how you feel. It won’t even feel like this is what you have been doing.
You feel like showing it in your tone, in the way you want to, will get both your voice to be heard and your point across. The truth is that this action makes matters worse and creates a deeper wound and hurt instead. Instead this action will drive a wedge between you and the other person. Also, the longer this has gone on the deeper the pain, hurts, wounds, and distance between a relationship of any kind will get for both of you or all of you (if it’s a group of people).
Would you personally listen to anyone who will yell at you, talk to you angrily, and be completely rude about everything? Would you trust the words of someone who doesn’t actually do what they are trying to teach you? You wouldn’t. So, why do you place that unrealistic expectation on your spouse or those around you that you love? If you keep acting like that, do you expect them to actually easily listen to you?
If you are ready, then here is an exercise to help you:
First of all, you must be willing to focus on working on yourself and your walk with God and trust the other person or people into the control of God’s hands. You have to be willing to let go of you trying to control everything and everyone. Then move on to the second step.
Secondly, invite God fully into this process and ask the Holy Spirit to help you not only identify the issues but to also expose the root of where the open door is in your life so that you can be set free.
Thirdly, take the time to review and write down any “unrealistic expectations” you have placed on yourself, your spouse, and/or others that you love.
Fourthly, take a closer look at your very intentions and motives behind each of the actions you have been doing with either your spouse and/or others you love. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you see them all. Write them down.
It is important to write down everything the Holy Spirit brings to the surface for you to see. The first step always is two be able to identify the issue.
Go through the list one by one with the Holy Spirit and ask Him to expose to you the open door in your life with that intention, motive, and/or unrealistic expectation that you have written down. Again, write down what the Holy Spirit shows you or speaks to you.
Start with forgiving yourself, then forgive others for any wrong they may have done, and lay all of these things down at the foot of the cross. Forgive just as Christ forgave you of your sins.
I pray that you are given God’s strength to bear what He shows you and His strength to also overcome it in Yeshua’s name!
It’s ok to feel sad, mad, hurt, or upset but it is not ok to sin in your anger. This right here gives a foothold to the devil.
“26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.”[a] Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”
-Ephesians 4:26-27 (NLT)
You have read 1 Corinthians 13 (the chapter of love) so many times and yet continue to do the opposite knowing the truth. Through this chapter written in the living word of God, you know that love is NOT jealous, boastful, proud, ill-mannered or rude, irritable, doesn’t keep record of wrongs, is not happy with evil, and does not demand it’s own way (selfishness). You KNOW that the fruits of love are patience, kindness, rejoices with truth, never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Even though you know these things, you continue to dig in the past rudely reminding the other person of everything they did wrong. Isn’t it true that if you really did forgive them, you won’t remember it and it won’t hurt anymore if you truly have let it go? If those pains, wounds, and trauma’s are still triggering then those are the areas you need to work on so that you can receive healing. It’s time to lift up that carpet and look at the heap of mess that you brushed underneath that you thought you let go. It’s time to face it and truly let it go. It’s only hurting you more and more the longer you hang on to those things.
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.