Through the time of this shaking across the earth, that started in 2020, I have gone through such a process with God. A process through the fire to be purged. It was a process in which I was being given the opportunity to let go of everything in my life that was contrary to the character of God. God had shined His light on the areas that needed my attention.
He was answering my own prayers and cries of, “God, if there be any unrighteous way in me that you do not approve of, show me so that I can be set free for your glory. Give me your strength to not only bear what you show me, but also to walk through letting it go.” (Psalm 139:24)
Right when the shaking began, many situations and circumstances in my life happened suddenly that were negative. I could have just gotten upset at God and I could have just assumed it was all warfare, but I knew He was exposing things to me in my life through those situations and circumstances. I knew it was almost my time to head to Ninevah, but to learn from Jonah and not go in with any negative attitude. Rather, I knew that I needed to go to Ninevah in the image that God made me in. I knew that this process was to prepare and position me for what He has called me to.
This process included exposure of character, attitudes, behaviors that did not line up with His word. As I chose to let each thing go, it was making more room for God to fill me. I was so full of my own junk, how could God fill me up to the brim until I let go of the things of the old land and lay down the old wineskin?!
I chose to lay it all down no matter what the process would look like and asked God to place His lense upon my eyes that I would see only through His lense and not my own. You know what kept me going? This is what I always have in my mind in all processes of life: “If Christ succeeded in His own process, so can I. He left us an example and He embraced the process with joy for the joy set before Him.”
For years, I had gone through some vicious cycles in different areas in my life. I didn’t know how to get through them and break free. Of course God never left me alone because He says that He will never leave or forsake us. In different parts of the process, He sent certain people to help me through. There were times that there was no one to help through the excruciating pain, but it was then that He taught me how to depend on Him alone. It was then that God taught me this: “God you are all I need, you are more than enough, and because I have you, I have everything I need.“.
It was through this process that I learned deeper to put my first true love Christ in the right place. Don’t get me wrong, I love God and all I want is my life to glorify Him alone. What I am saying is, even though I have a husband (whom I love and adore very much), it is Christ that must be first and that I must depend fully on Christ to take care of me (Isaiah 54:5). When we put others in that place that is idolatry. Through this process I have learned to put everything in the right place, order, and alignment of God.
Once I laid down everything of the flesh, I was then able to finally fully feel what the real me is like. It had been a long time since I felt that. Then I went on a journey of God showing me How He sees me and learning to love myself! It has been one interesting process and through it I have not only broken through those vicious negative cycles but I‘ve come to learn and embrace who I really am in Christ and not who my situations, circumstances, and words of people created me to be.
For me to be able to re-align with the Fathers Heart, I had to stop and lay down ministry, family and everything that I was working on. I knew that I had to just put my focus on my relationship with God and trust the rest in His hands; this included my family. My ears had to be in listening position to hear what the Heavenly Father had to say. I didn’t want to be that person who spoke to teach others and not walk it in my own life. I knew this world, and even my family, lacked a walking talking examples of what it looks like to walk out how the Word of God says to live.
I needed to see where I made agreement with things contrary to God that caused open doors as well as caused me to be stuck in places. It was when I saw what I needed to let go that I was able to respond to God. Once I responded, it was then that certain things started to change in my life. It was me that needed to get out of Gods way as there were consequences to choices I had made.
This process was worth it! I know that my life has created a path for others to follow. I have said yes to God and I also knew that there was a cost to that yes. There is a cost for the anointing and I am willing to maintain that.
“Go in through the narrow gate, because the gate to hell is wide and the road that leads to it is easy, and there are many who travel it. 14 But the gate to life is narrow and the way that leads to it is hard, and there are few people who find it.” -Matthew 7:13-14
Encouragement (for those who have said yes to God):
Embrace the process you are in with the joy set before you. Know that God is not allowing things to hurt you but rather to expose it to you. He is answering prayers that you have prayed and He is answering it in a way you did not expect.
Your calling is greater than you realize. The process you have been through since the shaking began and even now, is extremely vital! God has been preparing you for what is to come. It is not only about receiving the promised blessings. You also have to be positioned properly to be able to steward well what He is about to bestow upon you.
God doesn’t have temporary fixes in His mind. He has lineage legacy in His mind. The process you have had to go through and are going through is worth it all! It is worth it for the sake of God and His glory. You are an ambassador of Heaven! You have had to go through certain things in your life at a slower pace so that you can master the skills needed for the people you are about to be used to pour into!
You have been going through the “School of the Holy Spirit” this whole time. God never left you nor forsook you. He was there every step of the way. Even any mistakes you made along the way, God has turned it around to use for lessons pertaining to your called purpose.
So don’t beat yourself up so much! There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)! It is time to let go of everything from the past and old land. Let go and as you do you will make more room for Him in you. Let it all go and do not look back! He didn’t bring you this far to look back and pick those things back up again. It’s time! The harvest is ready and the workers are a few.
Yes, you are not perfect and God can use anyone. There is some truth to that but this is not to be used to justify the fact that you speak the word to others and not walk it in your own life. You must apply it to your own life first before teaching it to others (Matthew 7:1-5). You must be a walking talking example of what it looks like to walk out the Word of God. The world lacks this and you were chosen for this, in a time such as this!
This is a season of being on the threshing floor with all areas of your life. You, who have said yes to God, are you willing to pay the cost of that yes? The path is narrow though God will always be with you as He promised.
“We can make our plans,
but the Lord determines our steps.”